Frisk #187

Pork and beans, it’s Frisk #187! One Eight Seven was a Samuel L. Jackson movie back in 1997. Haven’t seen it. You?

Family TV time
Back in the good old days (well, the old days), TV viewing was very different: you had a small number of terrestrial channels, and you watched things when they were scheduled to be on; if you knew you were going to be out, you set the VCR. That was it. No time-shifting, no series-linking, and if the phone rang halfway through EastEnders then you’d just have to ignore it or miss out.
The kids of today, then, will have very different memories to those that grew up in the 1980s and ’90s. For the old farts among us, family Saturday nights used to mean a takeaway in front of Noel’s House Party, then maybe a bit of The Generation Game. Because that was what was on. But that sort of archaic behaviour just isn’t the Generation Z modus operandi: a recent Ofcom study showed that, while most UK adults think that watching TV brings the family together, only 30% actually do it. With the increasing prevalence of iPlayer, Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and whatever else, the modern way is for everyone to sit in their own little silos and binge-watch alone.
Poor kids. They’ll never know the nail-biting excitement of being stuck at the traffic lights at the end of the road, three minutes before The Krypton Factor started. They were the days.

PornHub seniors
Old people like to have sex. You’re just going to have to accept that.
PornHub do, and are well aware that their juicy viewing material isn’t the sole preserve of the young. And they’re not just catering for this market with tailored content, but also taking a firm stance on social responsibility by spreading awareness of sexual health among seniors. You see, STDs aren’t just for Millennials, no matter how much they like to take ownership of every trend. Sexually transmitted infections don’t care how old you are. So PornHub have created some educational messages specifically for the frisky elderly; ‘the act of making love can be a high-risk extreme sport,’ they say. Behold:

Dunkin’ Donuts has always been one of the better names for a wide-reaching donut brand. When you think about it, Krispy Kreme sounds revolting. Cream should never be crispy.
My sister used to work at Dunkin’ Donuts in Canterbury back in the early noughties, when the chain first came to the UK. It was comically mismanaged, to the extent that when she closed up the shop each evening there’d be several hundred unsold and perfectly edible donuts left on the shelves, which she was instructed to bin. She used to box them up and give them to homeless people.
But the firm’s management seems to be rather more canny these days; indeed, they’ve spotted that people seem to like spending loads of money on coffee, and are mooting the idea of changing their name to simply Dunkin’ – that way they can show people they’re not just about the donuts, and flog a load of beverages with sturdy profit margins.
It’s actually a pretty strong idea – in America, while people see them as primarily a donut outlet for obvious reasons, they already hold 25% of the coffee market. And with people ever keener to convince themselves they’re living healthily, removing the calorific part of the logo might entice more customers in. Should be a pretty easy rebrand to engineer too: all they need to do is unbolt half the sign and tipp-ex over ‘donuts’ on the napkins.

Daniel Bevis, Senior Knowledge Editor

9th August 2017